Record / CD / Tape
John Cooper Clarke
1979

John Cooper Clarke 7” single “Twat/ Splat” from ’79.
First time I got this home and played it, it did me noodle in. I was thinking, what on earth is occurring?? I played it a couple of times and instead of where the obligatory swear words should be there were sound effects like toilets flushing and honking noises etc. Played it again and this time, like some miracle from on high, there were all the curse words in the order the bard had intended them to be! I thought I may be going slightly barmy or the copious beers and dodgy k.bab may be affecting my tentative grip on reality. Turns out it was a double grooved single, of which I’d never heard of the like before or since. Like a circle in a circle, like a wheel within a wheel, it has two concentric grooves and as round and round it goes, where it lands no-one knows, unless you’ve got one of those modern direct drive turntable thingamajigs. Can’t imagine too many d.j. types have ever dropped it in the mix, though coincidently enough Indeep did drop the “flushing” effect on their dancehall hit “Last Night a D.J. Saved My Life”, which, following all things rotund, rounds up this tall,convoluted tale of recorded vinyl gimmix……