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Artefact

Featuring: Magazine, Buzzcock, Joy Division, Exodus
Contributors: Andy Zero, Martin X, Doris Day, Lizzy Haines
Office: Russell Club, Royce Road, Hulme, Manchester (unconfirmed).
Date of publication approx.

Featured in the following MDMArchive online exhibitions:
City Fun: The Hidden History of Manchester's Favourite Fanzine
TRANSCRIPTION:

GEOMETRIC IMAGES............An Excercise in Applied Mathematics.
So! The direction's the same,the same fixed focal point! The route's the same, a (full) circle. Only the means of getting there ever vary slightly.
The circle broke in '76. No, it didn't shatter, the pliable, serpentine, rubberyunder-belly of the most resilient, most devious industry in the world could never be brittle enough to shatter. No,a thread came loose, a thread to be seized,grasped, pulled out,pulled out until the circle became Devoto's "straight, straight line".
"SPIRIT of '76",.........."No more Mr Nice Guy", Enough of False Gods, of "Them....and Us", Enough of Super groups...packaged plastic for plastic people. Concerts in the sky...."Live in Japan"....WHERE THE FUCK'S JAPAN? Twenty Thousand Watts over the Sea. Is this what they meant by the Brain Drain? _64 Channels, Six month's hard,and a team of 243 to make a fuckin' 12-bar! Surely, if the kiddies' cash were put to better use, then the kiddies would have something a bit more stimulating,something they could relate to a little more than 10.C.C. or Led Zep!
SO,OFF WE ALL WENT!......ANARCHY! WHITE RIOT.......Fuck thr media, Fuck the Empire Pool, Fuck Rod Stewart's poodle. Get a band together,somehow ANYhow. Sing about what you feel,what you know about,what people themselves are in to. Bolloks to "Stairway to Heaven", it's about as real as Humpty dumpty.Get a single out,plain and simple.Never mind the string synthesisers, the Hollywood Philharmonic, and the cast of thousands. Ignore the space-age technology , the electronic wizardry, the multi-channel,multi-tracking,high-impedence, double-de-clutching gobbledygook. Let's get the bastard pressed up and out,or get some well-meaning bread-head to do it for us,SO LONG AS WE CAN KEEP HIM UNDER CONTROL.
And off they all went,to playScunthorpe(Abbatoir Hotel) on a wet Friday night. "Street credibility Maaaaaaan".No more King's hall at six quid a throw,No more stages that you could ALMOST see from the seats(on a clear day).No more gorillas inflicting severe multiple injuries for standing up and clapping.Get down yer local Dance' all see the band.Even hear the band.Even, even TALK to the band.'Ave a skinful(only 'arf a quid in ,or lig in with the band). Get as pissed as you like,and have a great old time "down the front".Been nowt like it since the sixties,and to think of the years we wasted on the cunts that took our money,churned out album after album'sworth of drek, and then fucked off to California.
SO,WHAT WENT WRONG? We ask ourselves incredulously.Why are the Buzzcoks playing the King's Hall? Why do the Lurkers sound like Status Quo? Why doesn't Paul Weller lig plectrums off Jon the Postman's guitarist anymore? Why did the Clash waste the best years of their lives mixing the second album? Why does Costello put in more mileage than the fuckin' Q.E. 2?
Well,you see,the circle didn't really break at all,did it? Oh,we stretched it alright,we stretched it into a loop,but it still rotated about the same axis.They all get their do-it-yourself discs out."Oooooh, look, there's Henshit on "What's on", DOESN'T HE LOOK NICE,makes all his own safety pins from bits of his Dad's car,still, it keeps him off the streets".
Yeah, it was great while it lasted,everyone doing something,something creative.
More important, something they had created themselves,that they could CONTROL!
And all the while, the slimy serpent lurked in the wings. The Record Company "Sign here,and keep it just like it is,or your'e OUT.We want eight albums and forty-seven singles,all in the same vein,and do a tour......No, don't worry,we'll pay you for it out of the year-after-next's royalties,and for fuck's sake try and look a bit more like Blondie,here's a tenner,get yourself a new wardrobe.YOU'RE NOT IN A BLOODY GARAGE BAND,SON,YOU'RE AN EMPLOYEEOF UNITED ARTISTS AND DON'T YOU FOGET IT(Does Pete Shelley havea clock-card or is he on the staff
CONTINUES
Artefact added : 1st October 2012
by Abigail
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